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Donna Schilder

Professional Certified Coach

Leadership, Career, & Business Coach

(562) 434-7822 -

Donna Schilder

Constructive Feedback Model

One of the best tools I’ve found for giving feedback to others is called the Constructive Feedback Model.  It takes the sense of personal attacking out of giving feedback, helps you use “I” statements, and helps you express your feelings so that the receiver can more fully understand the impact of their behavior on you.  The model is below.



When you


I feel


Because I


I would like you to

(desired behavior)



What do you think?

(seek agreement)

Printable Constructive Feedback Model Template


Tips for Giving Constructive Feedback


  • Focus on sharing ideas, not giving advice.
  • Focus on exploration of alternatives.
  • Feedback a description of a behavior, not a judgment.
  • Protect others feelings.


Tips for Receiving Constructive Feedback


  • Try to understand the other person’s point of view.
  • Be open to how others view you, even if it’s painful.
  • Look for opportunities for personal and professional growth.
  • Don’t take it personally.
  • Instead partner to look for ways to fix the issue.
  • Actively listen (Listen before you speak).
  • Avoid explaining or making excuses.
  • Empathize with the other person.


Topics for the Coaching Discussion


  • Giving Effective Positive Feedback
  • Various Formats for Positive Feedback
  • Characteristics of Effective Feedback
  • Choosing the Right Time and Place to Give Constructive Feedback


Over the years, I have seen that introducing the Constructive Feedback Model to an Executive Team and reinforcing use of it, took them from being dysfunctional and unproductive, to being functional and high performing. I believe it’s because the model helps people deliver feedback in a way that preserves the other person’s dignity. Also, it gives people a tool to use in giving the feedback, which leads them to give more feedback to others instead of resenting them. In addition, talking about how the behavior impacts you helps the person receiving the feedback see it from your perspective, which motivates them to change the behavior.

Would you like to introduce the Constructive Feedback Model to your Executive Team? Do you need help applying the Constructive Feedback Model yourself? I help Leaders successfully use the Constructive Feedback Model to give feedback that helps change people’s behavior and create open communication in business and personal relationships. 


If you are feeling you need to hone your skills with Constructive Feedback skills, you may also need my tips for dealing with conflict.