Design the Life You Want to Live Through Personal Goal Setting
The purpose of this book is to help you create a life vision and mission and goals.
This can be especially helpful for couples to develop together so that they can understand and integrate their values, define their roles within the relationship, to set goals, create action plans, and allocate resources to achieve their vision and mission.
Imagine you and your spouse are gagged, blindfolded, with ear plugs and you are trying to row a boat. Your spouse pulls one way, you pull another, you are disoriented and you don’t know what direction you are going in, let alone what direction you are trying to go in. Would this be frustrating? Do you think you might get angry with your spouse? Would you get where you were trying to go?
This how a lot of couples live their lives. Directionless and pulling in opposite directions.
I believe my husband and I row in the same direction a great deal more than most couples do and I believe that the planning process we engage in twice a year is the main reason for our alignment. We get off course and out of rhythm from time to time, but we sense it and correct the course. Our alignment contributes to our happiness, ability to live well, the fun we have, our ability to create security for ourselves, and our ability to contribute to the world.
I believe that the process of creating a vision, mission, roles, and goals can create a more harmonious and stable marriage (or domestic partnership) for any couple because they have set a life path together and have discussed and agreed to the allocation of resources (money, time, love, energy, support, influence, etc.) Allocation of resources, task assignment, and role definition are the main causes of conflict in a marriage.
Because these discussions have taken place, there are fewer surprises and fewer decisions to make on a day to day basis. These discussions also create a more open and honest marriage with the two partners aligned.
This is an ongoing process that requires consistency and commitment of time. I recommend that couples spend at least 8-16 hours twice per year in reviewing past vision, mission, roles, goals, and action plans and creating new ones or modifying existing ones.
It’s a small investment to make in such an important relationship. The reason for two times a year is that the world and your circumstances continually change so that you are able to make adjustments at mid-year.
Out of this naturally grows small session in between these formal planning sessions as circumstances change in your life.