Leadership Coaching

How To Remind Yourself To Be Assertive

Leadership coaching can help all leaders be more assertive so that they are positioned to meet their career goals, find new job opportunities, be promoted, or excel in their current position.

However, sometimes you’ll need to build an environment to support you in being more assertive.

Some of our Leadership clients have used a clever reminder to ensure they implement the assertive leadership techniques that their coach has helped them develop.

We hope these ideas will stimulate you to create a reminder that will work for you (until being assertive becomes more natural and second nature):

1. Use Your Computer’s Screensaver or Wallpaper.

Create an image reminding yourself to put your assertiveness skills into practice and display it on your computer, tablet, or smartphone screensaver or wallpaper.

2. Set Reminders on Your Phone.

Implementing strategically timed reminders on your phone to remind yourself of the assertiveness behaviors you’ve practiced with your Leadership Coach.  The reminders could be timed right before a meeting or preplanned conversation or at the start of each day.

3. Wear a Bracelet or Necklace

One of our female clients wore a necklace with a lion on it to remind her to take her power in her interactions with her peers.

4. Hang a Poster to Remind Yourself to be Assertive.

A Branch Manager at a bank used a poster to remind herself to be assertive!

You can hang a poster on your office door or wall — or anywhere you’ll see it throughout the day.  The poster could have the words “Be Assertive” or it could have a symbol that reminds you to be assertive.

5.  Draw a Symbol

One CEO didn’t want his staff to know that he was reminding himself to behave differently, so he drew a symbol on his whiteboard to remind him not to be aggressive, but to be assertive and supportive when employees presented new ideas or disagreed with him.

6. Place an Object In View

For those of you who are kinesthetic (tactile learners) placing an object that represents assertiveness on your desk (and picking it up) could be a helpful reminder.

7. Say a Phrase Out Loud

Auditory learners can say something aloud to support them in changing their behavior.  The verbal reminder could be as simple as: “Be Assertive” or more complex like “Effective leaders are assertive, not aggressive.”

One Leader Used A Poster To Remind Herself To Be Assertive

In the following video, Sherri Cannon, PCC, Executive Coach and Donna Schilder, MCC, Executive Coach & President, Donna Schilder Coaching, discuss prompts to use to remind yourself to be more assertive.

One Leader Used A Poster To Remind Herself To Be Assertive

One Leader Used A Poster To Remind Herself To Be Assertive – Video Transcript

Sherri Cannon, PCC, Executive Coach:

Could you say something else about that poster?

Donna Schilder, MCC, Executive Coach:

Okay.

Sherri:

Poster, what would that be like?

Donna:

So, I’ve had clients that have found a poster that represents being assertive versus being aggressive, or a picture that represents the experience they’ve had in the past that gets them to be assertive, and so they put that picture up and as they walk out their door, they see that and it reminds them, “Okay, don’t be aggressive, be assertive.” It could be an object or an image, but something that reminds them of what they’re trying to, do so that they remember.

Sherri:

A prompt.

Donna:

Yeah, a prompt. For me, it’s so funny. I’m pretty easy to communicate with, and yet when I did training, I had to write smile on the top of my notes, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t smile at the beginning. It was just because I was focused on the task, focused on everything that’s going on. When I did that, things worked a lot better.

Sherri:

I would, and there you are again, we eat our own dog food as a culture. That’s not graceful, but that is so true.

Donna:

I always say we teach, what we need to learn.

Sherri:

Yeah.

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