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Donna Schilder

Professional Certified Coach

Leadership, Career, & Business Coach

(562) 434-7822 - Donna@DonnaSchilder.com

Donna Schilder

Career Confidence: 6 Ways to Artfully Self-Promote at Work

In 2015 you’ve decided that standing out is the strategy you’ll use to accomplish your big life goals. And you’re already well on your way. So far, you’ve overhauled your dating profile to catch more eyes, and you’ve signed up to sit in the front row of your spin class for added motivation to get in top shape. Now it’s time to map out how the “Look at me!” strategy can catapult you to career success—and not just annoy your coworkers.

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Petting Tigers

  Most of us spend a lot of time and energy avoiding things we fear, but fear actually makes life fun and interesting. And if you only do what’s easy or familiar, you’ll miss out on a lot.   This last year I’ve been on a quest to understand, overcome, and embrace my fear.  I believe that if I find greater command over my own fear I will be a better coach and better at running my business and life.   On our trip to Thailand, at Tiger Kingdom, I got the chance to face some real fear: getting into a cage with five baby tigers.  Petting tigers is definitely out of my comfort zone!  My close friends know that up until 3 years ago, I would run screaming from a barking Chihuahua.     It was a challenge to live by my rule:  “Don’t just do what’s easy, do what’s interesting in life,” but I was determined.   I gulped when they warned, “don’t turn your back on the tigers,” “don’t forget they have sharp teeth and claws” and “don’t pet their head.”  I didn’t need to be reminded about the teeth and claws and I kept wondering how I was going to avoid turning my back on five tigers at once.   In the cage, I was keenly aware of the tigers’ power and speed.  Their deep throated growling made my hair stand on end.  I could tell they weren’t looking at me as prey, but as I edged forward my anxiety intensified.   “Face your fear, reach for what life has to offer, embrace the experience,” I chanted to myself.   I forced my hand out to pet the tiger’s belly.  It’s black and auburn fur was silky soft.  It’s breathing fast, as it cooled itself in the… Read More

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How I became a Lifestyle Entrepenuer

  My mission in life is to inspire others to be happier and take risks to get what they want in life. I am telling you my story to show that there are possibilities for how to live your life in ways you may not have thought of before.     There are three reasons that I become a Lifestyle Entrepreneur 15 years ago: 1. I was in a serious car accident and lived with chronic pain. 2. I wanted to follow my passion, help people, and make a difference. 3. I wanted to live: “An extraordinary life!”   For the first three years after the accident, I was in agony every day. Luckily, a few years after the accident my back got a little better, so my husband and I decided to do what we called “reverse retirement.”   There were a few things that pushed us forward into this risky endeavor: we knew that in my later years I would become more limited in what I could do physically (when arthritis set into the joints that were injured in the car accident), we wanted to see the world, and I had always said I wanted to live an extraordinary life. I also think the fact that I had faced death pushed both of us to take more risks to get what we wanted in life.   So we quit our jobs and became Business Consultants. For five years we traveled five months a year and worked 7 months a year. We had a wonderful time on two to three month trips to: Slovakia, Paris, China, Australia & New Zealand, Thailand, Vietnam & Laos, The Netherlands, Greece & Turkey, to name a few.   We slept in beach huts, taught English in China, floated down the Mekong, climbed a… Read More

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Disputing Assumptions That Keep You Stuck

    Sometimes we think a situation is unchangeable because we are trapped by our assumptions.   I have a client who was stuck in a belief: “I have to tolerate this job that is overwhelming because the other jobs out there require a degree and I don’t have one.”   I often work with clients to dispute their assumptions so that they can take action to change their lives. In this case I used a three step process to help her identify the assumption and dispute it.   Make it personal:   How do you define a good job?   It pays $80,000   It is near my house   It is 45 hours per week   It is a manager position   Make it specific:   What are specific jobs with those characteristics? We came up with an action item for the client to work on. She looked online for jobs that fit her requirements Dispute the assumption:   Did every job listed in the paper require a degree?   Is it possible that even some of the jobs that listed a degree as a requirement might accept someone with experience instead of a degree?   The answer was: “Yes.”   After we disputed the assumption that was holding her back, she was able to move forward and find a great job in a very short time, for even more money!!!!   Suddenly a situation that seemed unchangeable, was changeable.    

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Costa Rican Jungle Ziplining

  As you know, I often work with my clients to help them break through the fear that holds them back in life. You also know that I’ve been on a quest to understand my own fear, so that I can better support my clients.   Early in 2008, on a trip to Costa Rica, I thought a Zip Line Canopy Tour would be a great place for me to explore my fear.   Boy was I right!     Not only did I grow up with an intense fear of barking Chihuahuas, but I also grew up with an intense fear of heights. Maybe it stems from the time when my best friend Brenda taunted me with, “you’re a big chicken!” until I jumped off the jungle gym and landed face-first on a rock.  Or the time I jumped off a kindergarten model of a spaceship and sprained my ankle so bad that it swelled up to three times its normal size.   It doesn’t really matter where the fear started.   What matters is how it sometimes stands in the way of my experiencing joy and accomplishing what I want to accomplish.   Years ago I was standing on the Eiffel Tower, only able to keep my back plastered to the mesh wall, struggling to wrench myself to the edge, and straining to see the amazing view of the buildings, gardens, and boulevards of Paris.  I finally forced myself to move to the edge for a few moments, but my ability to feel the full joy of the moment was blocked by the fear coursing through my veins.   So strapping myself to a Zip Line in Costa Rica to fly through the air, 30 feet above the jungle was a bit of a challenge.  But I’m determined not to let… Read More

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5 More Fears that Can Get in Your Way

The barrier of fear is a common issue that Coaching clients work on.  Fear can stop you from making a call, requesting help, applying for a job, trying something new, or letting someone know how you feel.   One of our Coaching client experienced fear as he started new art projects.  As he’s faced his fear of the unknown and fear of failure, he has been able to reduce his procrastination and is finishing his projects faster.   Another client feared telling her mother how she felt because she was afraid she would experience emotional pain.  Once she faced the fear and talked to her mom, she had more energy to market her new business.   Let’s take a look at some questions that can help you work through 5 More Fears that can hold you back:   6. Fear of Being Judged: How can you stay focused on your good qualities and the good person you are when others criticize you?  Are there others who have been judged despite the wonderful gifts they’ve given to the world?  What about Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Ghandi?  Did fear of being judged stop them from doing what they knew was right? 7. Fear of Emotional Pain:  Is the risk of emotional pain worth the gain you might receive from taking action?  Will the pain still be there a week from now?  A month from now?  A year from now?  Is there a gift that the emotional pain could give you? 8. Fear of Being Alone:  Can you love yourself enough to be alone rather than: Being unhappy? Being out of integrity with who you are? Being abused?   Who can be there for you so that you don’t feel alone?  Will you truly be alone if you find ways to be… Read More

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5 Fears that Can Get in Your Way

  A big part of how we support our Coaching clients is by helping them break through the fears that keep them from taking action.  Often, just by acknowledging what type of fear is getting in the way, the client can move forward.   Five common types of fear that our clients face include:  fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of success, and fear of the unknown. Once the client determines the type of fear they are facing, they can start to break it down and get it out of the way.   Below are coaching questions for 5 common fears, that we use to help our clients explore, overcome, and dispel fears.   You can use them on your own or with your Coach as well to process and work through your fears.   1.  Fear of rejection  How does rejection affect your worth as a person?  Does being rejected change who you are?  How could you embrace rejection?   2.  Fear of Embarrassment If you embarrass yourself, what will happen?  Will you loose your job?  Will your husband divorce you?  Will you be less of a person?  Will anyone remember that you embarrassed yourself for more than a week? 3.  Fear of the Unknown What’s the worst thing that could happen?  How likely is it that something bad will happen?   Can you embrace the unknowing and be open to what will come?   4.  Fear of Failure    How will you feel if you do nothing?  Isn’t doing nothing failure?  What benefits will you receive if you succeed?  Is it worth it to risk failure if you have a chance to change the circumstances of your life for the better?   5.  Fear of Success   Do you fear change?  Would it be worth… Read More

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Asking for What You’re Worth

  Whether you own your own business or are employed by a company, you may have trouble asking for what you’re worth.  It may be that you’re:   Afraid of rejection Afraid of being perceived as not a nice or likeable person Afraid of finding out you’re not worth what you thought you were worth   Let me refute these fears:   Rejection:  If they say “no” to your price, you’re no worse off than you were before and you know you didn’t leave any money on the table.   Likeability:  In business, wouldn’t you rather be respected than be liked?  People don’t respect you as much if they pay you less for your product or service.   In the Current Market You’re Not Worth What You Thought:  At least now you know and you can look at ways to increase your worth in the market place.   The next step is embrace your worth:   List your positive characteristics that support the great service or products you provide. Focus on the characteristics that make you different from your competitions. List your accomplishments. List your contributions to your customers or the company you work for. List the benefit your customers or your company receive from you. Arm yourself with data, by researching the price the market will bear.   The next step is to believe the data you’ve collected and own your worth.  Review all the data until you truly embrace it and share it with colleagues and friends.   You can use affirmations if needed to enhance this shift to new, more positive thought patterns:   I will ask for what I’m worth. I make a great contribution to my customers/organization. I am worth ___ because I ____.   Next, if you have your own business, share the information… Read More

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How My Garden Surprises Me

 Over the years, I’ve had some unusual experiences with my seeds of possibility.   Some of my seeds have popped up a very long time after I’ve planted them. For instance, I sent a resume to a company and didn’t hear back from them for three years!  Then they contacted me to interview for an entirely different job (which I ended up getting).   Another time a woman kept picking up my fliers over a 2-year period, thinking that she wanted to attend a workshop, but never did.  Until one day her best friend handed her a flier and said she was going to attend the event.  They both became Coaching Clients. One woman received my E-Newsletter for 4 1/2 years and then hired me to coach her son.   Other seeds have popped up in unexpected ways. A woman from Ireland found my website and became a coaching client when she moved to Long Beach. Also, I’ve been called to do Speaking Engagements because someone found my Coaching Business Card. And I’ve been engaged as a Coach because someone found a Workshop Flyer.   Once I was at Jury Duty and was talking about my Coaching services and the gentleman next to me overheard the conversation and hired me as his coach.   I am very grateful that my gardening efforts reward me with beautiful flowers, whenever and however they show up! I hope this encourages to get out there and start sewing more seeds!    

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Sowing Seeds of Possibility

  Do you get discouraged because you can’t seem to find what you’re looking for? It could be a new job, more business, more friends, a romantic partner, or a bigger social network. Whatever it is, being discouraged can get in the way of you doing what you need to do to get what you want. Perseverance and patience are the keys to building a great business and life.   I want to share a metaphor that has helped me avoid becoming discouraged and given me the strength I need to get what I want in life. The metaphor is: Sowing Seeds of Possibility.   When I’m working to get something I want in life I sow as many seeds as possible. I don’t need every seed to grow, just enough to fill my practice, find one job, or find the right people to connect with.   I try not to get mad at the seeds that don’t grow, because I know that some of them will grow.  As long as I plant enough seeds, I will get what I want.  As long as I talk to enough people, send enough messages, and make enough connections I will find what I’m looking for.   Sometimes it seems as if I’ve found just the right flower for me, but then it wilts.  Fortunately, I know that other seeds will soon bloom.   I water the seeds, pull weeds, and fertilize the ground. I know I will be rewarded for my efforts. Not by each individual seed or action, but from the collective work I do in my garden.   I also know I can’t ever stop planting seeds and tending to my garden because the beautiful flowers won’t be there when I need them.   This metaphor prevents me from getting discouraged, because it reminds me to: Be patient Take continuous action Avoid… Read More

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