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Donna Schilder

Professional Certified Coach

Leadership, Career, & Business Coach

(562) 434-7822 - Donna@DonnaSchilder.com

Donna Schilder

5 Power Steps For Facilitating Bad Meeting Behaviors

For many reasons, leaders allow disruptive behaviors to continue in meetings: they have gotten complacent, they don’t want to cause conflict, they don’t know how to intervene in the behaviors. Don’t let disruptive behaviors negatively impact the productivity of your organization or department. Instead, utilize the 5 Power Steps to Facilitating Bad Meeting Behaviors.

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Smile Your Way to Success

  As we reel from Christmas buyers remorse, slog through our annual SAD sluggishness, and waddle through our 5- pound Holiday weight gain, we could all use a dose of smile therapy.  But in the rush to get back “in the swing of things” we may forget that this powerful tool is available to us 24-7.   Scientists have proven that flexing the 26 muscles that it takes to smile, generates positive chemicals in our bodies. The resulting positive feelings may help you create greater success in 2010.   Happy moods lead people to be more venturesome and more open to others.  Happy people are also more highly motivated and more willing to tackle tough projects.   If you’re trying to get yourself to tackle the task that you keep putting at the bottom of your list, smiling may give you the push you need.   Also, in this time of tightened belts, smiles are a free social currency.  As Author Les Giblin has said,   “If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no chequebook.”   Smiling shows people that we are friendly and approachable – thus making us more desirable to do business with or work with.  Smiling people are judged to be more sincere, sociable, competent, and attractive and a genuine smile shows self confidence.   Smiles also motivate others. Louise Armstrong knew that smiles are contagious:  “When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.”   If you’re a manager trying to jumpstart productivity, a salesperson working to close a sale, a teacher trying to engage your students, or a parent coaxing your kid to finish their homework, a smile can inspire the behavior you are looking for.   To others your smile is a gift of encouragement, inspiration, acknowledgement, and… Read More

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10 Stress Management Tips

  Take a deep breathing break.   Recognize the difference between things you can control and things you can’t control. Let go of things you can’t control.   Share the load.   Walk everywhere you can.   Try not to personalize any criticism you receive.   Don’t put up with anything that doesn’t work properly.   Allow extra time.   Be prepared to wait, bring a book.   Choose your friends wisely.   Establish a serene place of your own: a reading chair, a spot in the backyard.   Image Courtesy : anankkml/FreeDigitalphotos.net    

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Five End of Day Habits to Prevent Procrastination

    Here are five habits for the end of your day, that will help you avoid procrastination:   Reorganize your work area for the next day   Create a daily task list for tomorrow   Set aside a block of uninterrupted time for a larger project   Celebrate today’s successes   Go home on time!   Image Courtesy : Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalphotos.net    

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Top 10 Causes of Job Burnout

    1.  You find you’re suffering on the job. Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.  Look for what is causing you to suffer and look for ways to eliminate it.  Involve your boss in finding efficiencies, others to delegate to, or modifying or eliminating tasks that might not be necessary anymore.   2. You feel pushed to produce beyond your limits. Learn to say “no.”  Watch your colleagues.  They probably say “no” more than you realize.  Also, learn to schedule tasks in the future.  Most tasks really don’t need to be done immediately.   3.  You promise too much and then barely keep up. Examine whether you are you addicted to adrenaline or you’re trying to please everyone.   4.  You give too much and don’t get enough back. Lower your expectations, give less, ask for more, or change jobs.   5.  The people at work drain you. Do you let people take advantage of you?  Have you created boundaries for other people’s behavior?   6.  You don’t get ahead the way you want. Are your expectations reasonable?  If they are, establish a step by step plan to achieve your goals or move to another company.   7.  You’ve lost interest in what you used to enjoy. Find ways to expand your scope of work or take on new projects.  Look for ways to reconnect to the joy you once felt in doing your work.   8.  You’ve developed feelings of depression. Talk to a professional.   9.  You’re feeling angry and withholding communications. Who are you trying to punish?  Why?  Are you really just punishing yourself?   10.  You’re having personal problems unrelated to the job. A happy person is a productive employee; an unhappy person is an unproductive employee.  Look for ways to change what you are… Read More

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Understanding the Sources of Conflict

You can be more effective at managing conflict if you understand the sources of conflict:  Goals, Methods, Facts, and Values.   GOALS CONFLICT   The most common type of conflict is a Goals conflict.  I have a goal of watching “American Idol” and you have a goal of watching “Survivor.”   To resolve a Goals conflict you can:   Find the common over-arching goal (in this case, being entertained) Determine how to prioritize the conflicting goals to meet the over-arching goal   Often the best approach to a Goals conflict is compromise.  I can tape “American Idol” and you can watch “Survivor.”   If the other person’s goals are completely at odds with yours, you may not be able to compromise.   If Joe wants to borrow money from me and I don’t want to lend it: I can compromise by lending Joe less money or I can say “no” and accept the consequences.     Want to learn more about navigating conflict effectively?  Schedule your Leadership Coaching Consultation Today!   METHODS CONFLICT   Once you know a conflict is a Methods conflict, you may realize that the end result is more important than how it is accomplished.  At that point the conflict is resolved.   Other ways to resolve Methods conflicts are to: Test each method and choose what works best Blend the methods together Find an alternative method   FACTS CONFLICT   A Fact conflict centers on whether the information presented is correct.   To resolve a Fact conflict: Review the facts Verify the facts Gather additional data   Once you understand you are in a Facts Conflict, your job is to help the other person see that the facts you’ve presented are correct.   VALUES CONFLICT   A Values conflict is the most difficult type of conflict… Read More

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7 Steps to Positive Assertiveness

  Why is positive assertiveness important?  Being positively assertive can help you: Become a better leader Reduce conflict Reduce frustration Relieve stress Increase the quality of your relationships both at work and in your personal life Get more of what you want in life   The following are assertive thoughts that can guide you to positive assertiveness in your interactions with others.   1. I communicate my expectations, needs, and wants to others.  Positively assertive people give others the chance to meet their needs and expectations by communicating them clearly.   2. I deserve to have my needs met.  Some of us received childhood messages childhood that made us believe that other’s needs should come before our own.  Believing this can create resentment, frustration, and a feeling of deprivation that may be expressed through passive aggressive or self destructive behaviors.  Every human being deserves to have their needs met and you are the one responsible for ensuring that your own needs are met.     Want to become more assertive? I can help you! Schedule your Coaching Consultation Today!   3. When my wants or needs are in conflict with someone else, I look for win-win solutions.  Positive assertiveness means working to meet your needs, and if possible, meeting the needs of others.   4. I do not react to others.  I accept responsibility for my feelings, thoughts, opinions, and actions.  Your boss can’t make you mad, you allow yourself to be mad.  As an adult, you have choices: you can choose to accept your boss’ behavior (because there is no other suitable alternative), you can tell her that her behavior is unacceptable, you can withdraw temporarily from the situation, you can withdraw permanently, or you can choose to be mad.   5. When possible, I intervene in behavior that is abusive, aggressive, or… Read More

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